• Behind Wolfgang Boxton-Puck's new Tony Eatery, where Danny Vanilla is partially submerged, waiting to catch a climps of the Princess Goddess. [GMIOGMD]



  • Pilots the helicopter over Homeless Stadium. AND, Captain Morgan is also a rum! [GMIOGMD]



  • An SFX tool, used to simulate fire on radio. In NICK DANGER, Catherwood asks if he Nick wants to pull his "cues" out of the cellophane before they scorch. See also CORNSTARCH. In the Fall 93 Reunion tour update, Catherwood asks Nick to pull his cues out of the "bubble wrap".



  • Red headed female woman in Babylon SX 4x4 is drinking from it. The Rattler Baptists think it a Chalice, and the Peachy (as per PP) Amish say it's a Big Gulp. [GMIOGMD]



  • Many types of CHEESE appear in FT skits: GORGONZOLA the Cheese-monster, Cheese-Logs, Cheese-Log-Throws, not to mention RATS. On the album cover of ITNWYOYO, on the wall (below the billboards for 'Dead Cat Soap" and "Billy Jack Dogfood") there are signs for 'Bowel OIL' and'SWELL Cheese'. See also PIZZA.



  • Lord Eddie Beaverbrook of Unconscious Village. [GMIOGMD]



  • It's just this little CHROMIUM switch, here! The first lines of DWARF.



  • The EVERYMAN of the FT play BOZOS. Also known as "UhClem" to the main computer in the FUTURE FAIR. The liner notes for "Bozos" quotes the following definition from "The Language of American Popular Entertainment":

    "Clem: Its most common meaning is that of a general fight or riot between town hoodlums who attack shows and the circus or carnival employees. As an interjection, clem has replaces 'hey rube' as a battle cry for a forthcoming fight.
  • In this case, Clem attacks the Future Fair main computer by inserting a gypsy program to confuse DOCTOR MEMORY, bringing the whole operation down. The FT in later skits apparently developed Clems motivation and story as follows (David OSSMAN writes):

    "Clem, a shoeless computer programmer for the Fair, was fired after he re-programmed the RALPH SPOILSPORT Speedway ride to 'Smoke Dope' ie, slow down, free-associate, play. He has now re-entered the Fair and broken into the maintenance circuits of DOCTOR MEMORY in order to re-program it to 'forget the past'. As on the album, he succeeds in confusing the good Dr. into contradictory on/off instructions which sabotage the machine and destroy the fantastic illusions we had taken for Reality.



  • To either replicate yourself into a HOLOGRAM, or to act like all the other BOZOS. Also referred to as "Clem-Clone".


Close, Close, Close:

  • How the Mayor closes his Window (with his mind). [Boom Dot Bust]



  • A timely drug. Here's an advertisement for it by the FT on Ben Bland's All Day Matinee on the "Just Folks" album.: You know, this is the midst of the disillusionment and heartbreak season and,with the recent outbreak of that suicidal strain of despair up in Boston,well, you'd better keep a close watch on your emotions. So remember the seven danger signals of depression; that's a general and lasting feeling of hope-lessness, inability to concentrate, loss of self-esteem, fear of rejection, feelings of guilt, misdirected anger, and extreme dependency on others. At the first sign of these symptoms, friends, follow these simple rules: keep working, drink as much as possible, and... take your television's advice. And y'know more TV's recommend an amazing new psychic breakthrough than any other, and that's... Confidence in the System. Fast, safe, and guaranteed through constant Federal control, Confidence in the System will keep THEM in power longer, longer, longer, and tend to calm and obscure the miseries of disillusionment and despair. In easy-to-swallow Propaganda form or new fast-acting Thought Control, that's Confidence in the System. So have some... today.


Corn Cousins:

  • Forking in the woop fields of Billville. In reference to the once (apparent) popularity of marrying one's cousin. [Boom Dot Bust]



  • Used to simulate snow in NICK DANGER. Catherwood asks Nick to come in out of the Cornstarch and dry his mucklucks by the fire. Cornstarch is a prop widely used by foley artists (a/k/a "Sound Effects Guys" -- "thanks Rocky!") to simulate walking through snow. You don't walk in it. You leave it in its handy box. Squeezing and massaging the box near a mike gives that squeaky sound, not unlike walking on packed snow on a cold day. It also expels a fine dusting of cornstarch, which settles nicely onto scripts, mikes, tape reels, etc. Experienced foley artists leave the cornstarch box inside a plastic bag. See also CELLOPHANE.



  • As in "Le Trent Huit Cunegonde" (The 38th Cunegonde). This is referred to in DWARF, and is the title of another FT piece. Cunegonde has generated quite a discussion amongst the FT irregulars... A number of fans noted that Cunegonde is the daughter of the Baron Thunder-ten-tronckh, a central character in Voltaire's "Candide". Jeff Bulf notes the use of this name elsewhere in the arts:

    Cunegonde and its variants in other languages seems to be a standard name for what we would now call "bimbo" characters in European film. And presumably in stage before that. I cannot remember the title of a black-and-white scandinavian movie with tease/tart named Kunigunda. I saw it when I was in high school anyway, which puts it before the first Firesign performances. (Was it a BERGMAN? Doesn't sound like his sort of character.)
  • The name seems to be used as if it were a month; several fans have tried to link it with the French Revolution and its renaming of the calendar months; E.g., July became "Thermidor" -- best recalled by the "Thermidorean reaction" that followed some brutality as the revolution took its course. As for the origin of the name Cunegonde, Evan M Corcoran was kind enough to track this down with the help of his brother in France:

    ...Here's what he came up with, from the five volume Grand Larousse dictionary, translated free for your personal libation:
    Cunegonde - (saint), Germanic imperatrice (v. 978 - abbey of Kaufungen, Hesse, 1033 or 1040 [I'm not exactly sure what this means, I'll ask my brother]) Spouse of Henri II the Saint, canonised in 1200.

later he has continued:

    One more historical note: I checked out Sainte Cunegonde, and as far as I could determine, she is not the patroness of anything. There is ANOTHER Sainte Cunegonde who is patroness of Poland and Lithuania, but she's not the one parodied in Candide. Or is she... Both Cunegondes are also spelled Kunigonda in some places. And St. Vitus is the patron of comedians.

So, Cunegonde might be saint of something (perhaps, Cows?)



  • Gezundheit! Offers are usually not good after curfew in sectors R or N, and you should never go into forbidden sectors after curfew (see DWARF). In the TV comedy "Space Ghost - Coast

    To Coast" there was a parody of a children's advertisement with

the fine-print disclaimer:

    Produced by the Cogswell Cogs Co. Offer not good after curfew in sectors R or N.